My IBS Story

How many 25 years old girl can say they had a colonoscopy, an endoscopy and a plethora of tests. Unfortunately it’s easier for Doctors to tell me that I don’t have this, rather than telling me what I have. That’s the beauty of GI issues, it’s almost impossible to find the exact problem, but you can narrow it down a little more every time.

Some days I wake up feeling fresh and good, but to be honest I don’t remember when is the last time this happened. I’m pretty much constantly bloated and lethargic, in pain and uncomfortable. Honestly, I’ve just accepted it and gave up on trying to find a way to feel and be better. But that’s really no way to live and I’m over letting this rule my life, and controlling both my mental and physical state. Because yes, I am physically in pain and I look like I’m in my third pregnancy trimester, but the mental part is the worst. I’m uncomfortable in my own body and skin, and I can’t wear certain things because I’m afraid it won’t look good, as I’m very bloated. I mean I’m a decent athlete and definitely athletic looking so having this part of my body be so different than the rest is really hard. I’m always afraid people are not only going to judge but also won’t understand and it makes me so self conscious.

So how does this play a role in my training, well, for once, I’ve had to stop way too many times in the middle of run to go to the bathroom, or change my routes to make sure I have access to one. I’ve also had to do long runs on the treadmill cause I was to afraid to not make it. I’ve also got to the point where I’m scared to really eat before I run or bike because I rather run out of energy than anything else related to my digestion. I also struggle to eat anything after working out because I’m in a lot of pain after hard workout, this usually leads to underfueling at the wrong time and eating way too much and the wrong things when I’m not even hungry. (i.e. binging right before going to bed) I often am in a lot of pain while I bike because I’m bended and while it makes me forget that my legs are dying during intervals, sometimes I just can’t push as hard as I want because my stomach is in too much pain. And yes, they often say a little exercise helps with general health and digestion, but the level I do and the amount of stress I put my body through is probably not the best. A year ago I was told I probably had IBS, but I’m still waiting on more test and more appointment to confirm this first diagnostics and then refine it, because there is more than a handful type of IBS and each person has a different response to it. I also could have something different than IBS and that’s why I’m seeing someone new in Portland. Then when I’ll have that figure it out, I’m going to have to test a bunch of different treatment, from antibiotics, to antidepressant (help loosen up the digestive tract), to food elimination and much more.

So yeah, I’m far from having figured out what’s wrong with my body and it’s been a battle for over 5 years. I’m hoping I can get an answer soon, cause I’m pretty much willing to try anything at this point. I don’t want to feel like I’m ranting or dramatic, but being in constant pain, uncomfortable and always feeling self conscious is taxing and tiring. So I’m writing this to not only start documenting my journey to hopefully my healthier self but also to remind myself not to give up and hopefully if you’re struggling with your own journey let you know that you are not alone.